“You’re so young, poor thing”
“Don’t you wish you could’ve had the college experience?”
The typical questions I’m sure all young moms have heard probably about as much as a little kid hears “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Me? My answer was always that I wanted to be a mom. Probably because my mom is truly one of the best out there if not THE best, but it didn’t matter how old I was my answer never changed. Being a mom is literally all I had ever wanted.
So stop judging me. Stop feeling bad that I “missed out” on the college experience. I can’t say I don’t picture what my life would look like when I scroll passed my friends posts on Facebook getting all dressed up to go out to some club on a random Wednesday night, or when they tell me stories about the 3 different dates they’ve been on in the past month. I don’t think they’re wrong in the life they’ve chosen to live. I’m not here to judge them for their choices, I love watching their snapchat stories and their weekly phone calls to me telling me all about the frat party they got invited to or the new fundraiser their sorority is doing or the mission trip they get to go on. But not for one second do I wish I was in their shoes. I don’t think I should be judged or pitied for that.
When I found out I was pregnant I couldn’t wait to start walking through the baby aisle with a purpose instead of seeing all the baby clothes and having no reason to buy them. When you see me standing in the baby aisle of the grocery store with my little boy trying to figure out which sunscreen I should buy him don’t look so confused or concerned. I see you as you try to sneak a peek at my left hand to see if I’m married. God forbid I got out without my ring on; so young and not married!? Say it isn’t so! Well, it isn’t so. I have the most perfect and cutest baby in the world, and an amazing husband who makes me laugh so hard I cry on a daily basis. But how could you know that just by looking at me from the 10 second walk passed me in the grocery store? You can’t. So don’t try and judge me based off the brief moment of my life you witness when I happen to be out with my son.
I thank God everyday for the beautiful family he has given me and I look at being married so young and starting a family so young as more time to enjoy the two loves of my life. I wouldn’t take any of it back. Not being barely 19 when I got married and not being barely 20 when I had a baby. Now let me say that I don’t think if you wait till you’re 35 to get married and start a family that you’re wrong. Because you’re not! Waiting to have children or not having children at all is up to you. It’s your life! If having a career is your goal instead of a family I certainly won’t judge you for it. As I should not be judged for achieving my goal of being a wife and mom at such a young age. Again, I believe as women we all need to support one another in reaching goals no matter how they differ from the goals we have set for ourselves. How else are we going to get through life without other women out there to support us.
So, the next time you see a young mom out at the grocery store, or out at the park, or in school, or wherever you may see her don’t feel sorry for her. Standing in the grocery store trying to pick a baby sunscreen, or chasing her toddler around the playground could be all she’s ever wanted.