The ugly truth about breastfeeding: The first 30 days 

Before you read on let me say that this post is not meant to discourage any mommy’s out there who are struggling to breastfeed. I promise you it gets better and I hope this post gives you hope that even though it is hard and ugly at some times it gets better! 

So, like I said… IT’S HARD 

In every sense of the word breastfeeding was hard for me. Physically, emotionally and mentally hard. Getting a good latch was hard, my boobs literally got HARD, breastfeeding in public was such a struggle, learning how to get my baby to latch while having to use an annoying cover was hard. 

If you’re a mom who had a magical breastfeeding experience let me tell you how jealous I am of you. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. Everyone had told me how “natural” it is and how “breast is best.” I had a heard a few bad stories about how sore you get and blah blah but I had NO idea. 

Right after Jaxon was born (I’m talking minutes here) he latched perfectly to ONE side, it’s like he already had a preference to one boob right out of the gate! I tried different holds and everything. Nope. Wasn’t working! 

Then came the pump… Let me tell you ladies I would rather cut off a finger than have to be strapped to a pump 24/7 again. Having to pump was draining… Literally. Since I was SO sore to keep my supply up I had to pump every hour and a half to two hours. I felt like a cow. 

I had read on other mommy blogs that the first two weeks of breastfeeding you really have to push through because, hey your nipples aren’t used to having a little tiny human sucking on them every hour and a half! And it’s exhausting being strapped to a pump all day, or being a human pacifier. Those mommy bloggers were rjght! Every latch would make me tear up, it felt as if a little needle was poking my nipple every time! I pushed through those two weeks though determined to make this work. (Tip: I used the Honest Co. Nipple balm to help ease the pain and help repair my nipples in between feedings). 

Side note: You WILL accidentally squirt milk into your babies eye and on his face. It just happens. Don’t feel too bad about it. 

As the weeks continued everything seemed okay even though we still only had a good latch on one side. I consulted with a Lactation consultant who gave me different holds to try with BF on that side and nothing worked. I also wasn’t producing enough anymore. I felt so defeated. I was sore and in pain trying to do what everyone said was best for my baby. I didn’t understand. This was supposed to be natural and amazing and instead I was having trouble at every turn.

It was a rough first month and a half for me, but I was determined not to give up. We finally got a good latch on both sides! I still have to supplement formula sometimes, which I felt so guilty about at first then I remember I decided a long time ago not to let anyone make me feel bad for the way I raise my baby. All I see is “Breast is best” swirling around the internet and honestly I believe a fed baby is the best baby! Breast feeding did not come as natural to me as I thought it would, it was a struggle to push through and unfortunately some moms don’t even get the chance. One of my good friends who had her daughter a few months before I had Jaxon struggled from the very beginning as her milk never came in! As moms we all need to unite in motherhood and support each other no matter how we choose to feed our perfect little humans. 

I am grateful that I was able to get through the tough times and continue to breastfeed baby J. Every time I look down into his little hazel eyes looking up at me as he eats I can’t help but get a little emotional. It’s an amazing bond him and I share that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Having to work so hard for it almost makes it that much sweeter now. Breastfeeding IS as magical and amazing as people say it is, but it doesn’t always begin that way. If you have the desire and get the chance to breastfeed PUSH THROUGH. Don’t give up even when it seems like it doesn’t get any better. Trust me, it gets better I’ve been there! I promise it is so worth it. 

If you’re a new momma reading this congratulations and good luck on your new amazing adventure (breastfeeding or not) it’s AMAZING. 


Wow, I’m bad at this

I’ve been asked multiple times these past few weeks about my blog, and to be honest I don’t really have a reason as to why I haven’t been keeping up with it. So, here we go again with another attempt to try and commit to making this thing awesome!

The last time I checked in I was only about 22 weeks pregnant, and as I type this now this bump is 32 weeks, we got a new puppy, and bought a house! After all the holiday festivities I finally made it back to Colorado. Since being back I’ve made a point to keep myself busy. I started babysitting for one of the other army wife’s while she goes to school on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. I signed up for a Nurturing class on post that is on Wednesday’s, and now I’m at the point in the pregnancy that always seemed so far away, but I see the doctor every 2 weeks now!

Since I’ve been home I also experienced my first big snow storm… or at least it was big to me! We got hit with 3 days of snow, that all added up to be about 2 feet.

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Our poor new puppy would disappear when we let him outside. Speaking of our new puppy, his name is Axel. IMG_2890

We adopted him from a local shelter here in Colorado “2 Blondes All Breed Rescue.”It was a great experience working with them and I’m a firm believer in the “adopt don’t shop” campaign. Let me tell you something you totally forget what it’s like being in the puppy stage. Kato is 2 years old now and seems like an old man! I didn’t realize how calm, relaxed and well behaved he was until this little ball of energy came along. It’s so easy to become frustrated with Axel when he does things he’s not supposed to like, chewing on our shoes, or jumping on the coffee table to try and eat our food… but we are making progress. He’s been ours for about 2 weeks now and is doing so much better!

We officially have everything we need to welcome our baby boy into the world in just 8 short weeks! I feel so blessed to have the amazing family that we have. With Christmas and my birthday everyone got us everything that we needed! I also have to give credit to this amazing page I joined on FB that gently used or EUC baby items for sale at AMAZING prices. When I say amazing I mean I bought baby’s entire nursery for under $500. You can read more about Jaxon’s nursery and see a tour of his room within the next few weeks!

If I had it my way Jaxons room would’ve been set up weeks ago, but we don’t move into our new house till this weekend so, there’s really no point in setting it up just to take it down and move it all.

Speaking of, we bought a house! My husband who tries to be as smart with our money as we can decided that he hated the idea of basically throwing away thousands of dollars on rent each month and having nothing to show for it when it’s time to move again so, we took the plunge and are now the owners of the 4  bedroom ranch style house in Colorado Springs! I cannot wait to get my hands on this place and make it our own. It’s going to be a big adventure, but I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else by my side.

Wis us luck!


Thanksgiving Bumpdate! Week 21-22

We’re in Florida!

  I’m so excited that I was able to fly down to be with my family for the Holidays. I got in two days before Thanksgiving and drove to Tallahassee with my parents and my sister to spend Thanksgiving with all of our family! I’m pretty sure we sued a total of 13 sticks of butter in the entire Thanksgiving meal, let me tell you baby was very happy! We love food! It was such a great time! I missed everyone so so much. We were also able to get family pictures taken with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins which we haven’t done in years!

    Don’t judge us, but were the family that cooks everything in pans that we don’t have to wash we can just store the leftovers in and then throw away later. It’s not fancy, but honestly it was the greatest idea my aunt had. It saves so much time on washing dishes and such and leaves more time for bonding with the family!
We drove back home Friday night since Black Friday isn’t even Black Friday anymore we got all of our shopping done Thursday night and finished it up Friday morning! I spent the rest of the weekend with my family. My sister got to stay home from school on Monday so that we could hangout! I was supposed to head back to Colorado on Wednesday, but with how expensive flights are the Hubby and I decided it didn’t make sense to spend another $500 on a plane ticket to send me back to Florida in like 2 1/2 weeks. So I’ll be staying with my parents throughout Christmas and Avery will join me in 2 weeks!

Being at home with my family has been so amazing. I never realized how awesome my family was until I was without them for MONTHS! It’s been extra fun shopping for baby Jaxon with my mom and sister, we stocked up on baby clothes and other things during Black Friday shopping!

At 21/22 weeks I still don’t have any crazy symptoms beside my boobs growing ridiculously fast, and having a little less energy than normal, I feel great!  I do notice I get out of breath very easily if I move to fast or if I make my shower too hot.. which is a struggle for me since I like my shower pretty much scorching! The one thing that has been killing me is my lower back! My sciatic has been giving me so many problems since being pregnant and it is not fun! Stretching has given me some relief and my dad has had problems with his sciatic so he had tips for me as well!

My mom and I will be taking a tour of one of the new hospitals that just opened up here pretty soon, and I can’t wait. We only have 4 more months till this little monkey gets here and I could not be more excited! We’ve decided that I’ll come home again closer to when Jaxon is due to have him here in Florida where all of our family can be there. It’s going to be a crazy few months but I can’t wait!

Wish me luck


Update pt. 2!

With the big move finally over and the hubby finally back from being gone for an entire month we decided it was probably high time I sat down to update you all on our most recent news! Bear with me, it has been a while so this might be a little lengthy of a post..

First things first….We’re having a baby!

 April 3rd 2016, our little bundle of joy will be here and we just cannot wait! If you ever asked me when I was a little girl what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was always to be a mom. Probably because my mom was so awesome, but I have always loved children and couldn’t wait to have one of my own!

I’m 22 weeks pregnant right now, so we’re in the 5th month and everything is going great! We’ve had two ultrasounds so far one at our first doctors visit at 8 weeks and let me tell you it was so amazing actually being able to see this little tiny human moving around. It made everything SO real! The first trimester wasn’t too bad on me, I did keep track week by week my symptoms and things like that, so you can read all about those below or skip ahead and read up on other exciting things happening in our lives! I will start trying to uploading a post weekly with new developments, symptoms and things like that after this post!

Week 8-10:

  First doctors appointment week 8, I don’t have horrible morning sickness, but I do tend to get sick every morning if I get out of bed to quickly, or if I don’t get enough sleep. I haven’t been craving anything crazy, or anything out of the normal. We all know I love to eat. I have always not been a very good car rider as I get nauseous very easily, but this baby has not made it any better! I can’t ride in the passenger seat for 5 minutes without getting sick. Let me tell you it’s not fun.

Week 11-13: Reading through my notes, not much changed during these weeks except that I went back to the doctor (without the hubby unfortunately) at 13 weeks and go to hear the baby’s heartbeat! It was so amazing to hear, it was 185bpm and strong as ever. We definitely have an active baby on our hands, baby O’Kane kicked the monitor twice when the doctor was trying to find the heartbeat! I was laughing, but the doctor didn’t seem too amused. Also at 13 weeks I felt the baby move for the very first time! It was CRAZY. I literally screamed. I woke up in the morning and the baby was all on one side of my stomach it looked like and when I poked that area it moved!! It was the craziest thing to see and feel, it was amazing! Of course I called my mom right away. I was so excited.

14-16: The Hubs finally came home! (Thank God) this was the longest most testing month of my entire life! Not only being pregnant but also having to deal with daily life struggles, as well as a run away dog, and a car that wouldn’t start, still not having any of our furniture, and sleeping on an air mattress, it was not a fun time without him home. Week 16 we went back to the doctor and got to hear the heartbeat again which is now 155bpm and everything is looking good! I had to get a flu shot (ew) and they had to draw some blood which I hate, but overall it was a good visit!

17-19: Not much has changed but the bump is finally showing and I have felt some more movement which is amazing! Only one more week till we know if we have a prince or princess joining our little family!

 Week 20: We’re having… a BOY! Jaxon Avery is right on track and due April 3rd 2016! Avery has already decided that he wants Jaxon to come early on April 1st (for all you baseball fans you know what day that is) so each year, the boys can travel to a new baseball stadium on his birthday/opening day to celebrate!

 Aside from the baby news, everything is finally starting to look up in the O’Kane household! We FINALLY got our furniture so now we have a real bed and a couch to sit on! Hallelujah! I mentioned earlier that Kato ran away while Avery was gone, luckily I did find him. Someone picked him up and dropped him off at the local human society where I was able to pick him up, not before having to pay $130 to get him out though! He’s been an angel ever since!

Other than that it’s been pretty normal around here,  to see more baby updates head over to my All About Baby section of the blog!

Thanks for reading and going on this new journey with me!

Wish me luck



Wow! I can’t believe that it has been over a month since I’ve been on here. I am so bad at this! Here’s a little update for you though.

It’s been an interesting few weeks. I started my new job, which has been amazing, but with the hours that I work I don’t get home till late and by that time all I want to do is spend time with my hubby and go to sleep! We were fostering another dog for a few weeks which we both thought was going to be a great idea… We were wrong.

Last time I posted Avery had just left for a week in the field, but lucky me he came back just 3 days after being gone! Thank God! Being apart from him has always been hard, but now that it’s just the two of us when he leaves it’s very lonely. Those 3 days were probably some of the longest of my life!

Once he got back we really got into a routine which was so nice! Avery always gets home a few hours before me so, he has time to walk the dog, make dinner, and play his video game if he wants all before I get home! He definitely has stepped up WAY more than I had expected him to. He works longer days then I do most of the time and still comes home and makes sure the apartment looks right when I get there. Saturday is our cleaning day, since we don’t have any of our stuff (still) there isn’t much to clean but it’s nice to vacuum the insane amount of dog hair that accumulates on the carpet in only 7 days and get the laundry done. I didn’t know that chores could be so much fun, but with Avery, everything is fun.

Since my last post Avery has left again for another training, but this time he’s going to be gone for an entire month! I do not know what I am going to do with myself. Not only do I feel like I’m going out of my mind when Avery leaves but our dog actually does! Kato looks up to Avery like he is the most perfect human being to ever walk the planet and me, I might as well be chopped liver. So, whenever Avery leaves there’s always 2-3 days where Kato literally throws a temper tantrum and will poop and pee in the house! His new thing… chewing the carpet. I always said that I never wanted to have to put Kato in a crate, but he’s left me with no choice. My parents have always crated their dogs and for them it’s like their dogs little sanctuary and since Kato wants to be bad it’s about that time. In all honesty I believe its going to be good for him to have something that’s all his own and can be his safe place. It’ll also save me from having to waste my lunch hour picking up after him around the apartment. Obedience school is definitely next for this family pup.

It’s only been a little over a week since Avery has left for NTC and it feels like it’s been the whole month already! Luckily I have my job to keep me busy and I even made a friend! One of Avery’s work friends is also married and they live in our neighborhood. We’ve become pretty close over the last few weeks. It’s so nice to have another woman who is going through this with me! We binge watch a few episodes of a new show every night and try to make being apart from our men a little easier for each other.

In other news are furniture is finally on it’s way from our storage unit in Florida! YAY! Finally! I can’t wait to start making this apartment feel a little bit more like home. I’m hoping that the furniture will be delivered before Avery comes home so that he’ll be able to come back to a brand new home!

It’s going to be a long few weeks without my Hubby, but we’ve made it through worse! And hopefully apartment decorating can keep my extra busy!

Wish me luck!